Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

So, as most of you know, I’m working on my first draft of Chasing the Dragon.

Exciting? Totally!

Terrible? Most certainly.

Each day, I write down my first draft in a notebook and then type it into a word document. In the interest of laughing at myself and maybe having you laugh along with me, I would like to share some of my most interesting, and horrible, first draft discoveries today!

1. ‘Dawn glanced back to the train which she had just disembarked from.’

Yeah…because, you know, it’s not obvious at all that she came from the train when the scene is set in a train station.

2. ‘The cold marble was cool and smooth against her shoulders…’

You don’t say! Cold marble being both cool and smooth? Perish the thought!

3. ‘Dawn started awake and hit her head against the marble wall. Pain exploded behind her head…’

There is SO much wrong with these sentences, not least of which is the fact that it wouldn’t be cost-effective to build a whole building out of marble.

4. ‘Dawn looked at the speaker as a hand inspected…’

This is actually supposed to be her hand, but due to a typo, there is now a disembodied hand inspecting stuff.

5. ‘Lylee laughed and held up her hands to stop the flood of questions. “Come on, Pipa,” she laughed, “I can’t tell you anything…”’

This is why you shouldn’t use speech tags other than ‘said’, kids! Because people will laugh and laugh and laugh…

I hope you enjoyed this insight into some of my first draft foolery. Feel free to share some of your own in the comments below!

Advertisements